


Whisper in Your Ear

by Taliya



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angels, Devils, Drabble Collection, Explicit Language, Gen, Humor, Mild Graphic Description
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliya/pseuds/Taliya
Summary: What if the DCMK cast were each other’s respective angels and devils sitting on each shoulder?  Rated for language.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	1. I: Hattori Heiji, featuring...

**Author's Note:**

> _Detective Conan_ and _Magic Kaito_ characters, settings, and ideas do not belong to me but to Aoyama Gōshō.
> 
> \---
> 
> Warnings: Mildly graphic content, language

The case had been… _taxing_ , to say the least. Not only because it had taken slightly longer than usual for him to determine who the culprit had been, but it had also occurred on the heels of a very tiring kendo practice session. Then there were the two idiots that were currently bickering on his shoulders. They had been rather spectacular distractions for his deductive reasoning thought processes.

“—m _telling_ you, fudge is _totally_ appropriate for dinner!” the one on his left shoulder argued.

“ _Please,_ ” came the huffed retort on his right, “what sort of nutritional value does fudge even _have_?”

 _Why are they even arguing about this in the first place?_ was one Hattori Heiji’s rather confused thoughts on the matter as he listened to his angel and devil squabble over how healthy fudge _actually_ was. He sighed, the pair’s arguing washing over him.

“There’s enough sugar to metabolize for energy to keep him going!”

“And what about all the other vitamins and minerals that are needed to keep him functioning?”

“Guys…?” Heiji nudged, annoyance building at the incessant back and forth.

“You’re always such a sourpuss, _Shi-chan_.”

“Guys…” he repeated, gritting his teeth.

“Like you’re a fantastic role model to follow yourself, _To-chan_.”

“Guys!” the Osakan barked. He was exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally, and his reserves of patience had finally run out. The two on his shoulders immediately quieted. “I am _not_ in the mood for this right now. I’m cranky and hungry, I smell like blood and sweat, I’m aching all over, and if you two don’t shut the hell up _right now_ , I’m going to do something to both you that neither of you will like, _got it?_ ”

Silence answered his threat.

“Fuckin’ _miracle_ ,” he muttered as he continued half-dragging, half-stomping his way home, desperate for a late dinner, a hot bath, and sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … Shinichi and Kaito.
> 
> \---
> 
> Author’s Note: This plunny would not leave me alone, so here we are. I’ve no idea how many I’ll make for this one, so it’ll remain incomplete until I deem it otherwise. Here’s to some really _weird_ future (nonsexual) threesomes! Shi-chan is a play on death (shi) and To-chan is a nickname based on little brother (otouto). I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 14.01.2021


	2. II: Hakuba Saguru, featuring...

The beggar at the corner of the street was in a sad state, and Hakuba Saguru’s heart clenched upon seeing the man’s poor circumstances. The man appeared to be a war veteran—a former member of the British Armed Forces. Army, if the embroidered baseball cap on his head was to be believed.

“You should help that poor man out by giving him a million pounds,” suggested the one perched on his right shoulder.

The one on his left answered with a lofty scoff before the blond could do little more than blink at the sheer absurdity of the remark. “I suggest cursing him to death by a million flea bites instead.”

 _How about I do neither...?_ he thought, brows wrinkling at the equally ridiculous suggestion. _And also, what has he done to personally offend you_ that _much?_ “Ladies,” he murmured, “you both _know_ I cannot help everyone.”

“That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t try, Aka-chan,” the one on the right insisted. She rubbed his ear in commiseration as she added, “Although… you can’t really help with periods… or their associated cramps…”

Saguru instantaneously flushed, felt his cheeks burn, and wished he could sink into the ground. This conversation was so _not_ going there.

“Of course, he can’t, Aoi-chan,” the one on the left snorted.

Oh, dear gods, it _was_.

“It’s not like he can just reach in and massage clenched uterine and vagi—”

“Please, _stop_!” the half-Briton pleaded, bright red as he pressed his hands over his ears. Saguru therefore never heard the next two remarks.

“But... it's a natural bodily function...”

“Don't mind him dear, he's a man and therefore first and foremost, an idiot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … Aoko and Akako.
> 
> \---
> 
> Author’s Note: Yay for Saguru torture! … I mean, I’m so sorry, Saguru. Forgive me. And oh, _Akako_... Aoi means blue, and aka means red. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 14.01.2021


	3. III: Gin, featuring...

“Poor bastard,” murmured the low, male voice on his right, “at least you should have put him out of his misery with one shot instead of the five.”

“He was _trying_ to prove a point,” answered a female voice on his left.

“Needless suffering,” the first voice refuted.

“A show of strength.”

Gin refrained from both rolling his eyes and deeply sighing. Instead, he gritted his teeth and growled, “Will you two fucking shut up?”

The one on his right shoulder huffed. “Just because you’re an assassin does _not_ mean you should be needlessly cruel,” he retorted.

“And I suppose you’d do _so_ much better,” the feminine voice on his left snarked back. “Like _you’re_ the epitome of everything good.”

“Better than _you_ , Rotten Apple.”

“ _Can_ it, Silver Bullet!”

“Shut the _fuck_ up, you two, or I swear over the bodies of the past seventy-four people that I’ve killed that I _will_ find a way to kill you both, immortal or not,” Gin snarled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … Rye and Vermouth
> 
> \---
> 
> Author’s Note: Um, yeah. I originally planned on Shinichi and Vermouth, but Rye fit in so much better. I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 19.01.2021


	4. IV: Ooka Momiji, featuring...

“I don’t like this…” came a worried female voice from Ooka Momiji’s right shoulder.

“ _Relax_ ,” chided the male voice on her left, “what could _possibly_ go wrong?”

Momiji giggled. “When has Danna-san ever steered me wrong, Happa-chan?”

“Too many times to count,” the aforementioned Happa-chan muttered. The named Danna-san stuck his tongue out from around Momiji’s profile. “Do you happen to recall when—” Happa-chan began loudly, only to be cut off by Danna-san.

“Oi, I didn’t do anything!” he snapped. “I just gave her a suggestion. She didn’t have to follow it if she didn’t want to!”

Momiji cooed at Danna-san, and Happa-chan glowered at the idiot whose shoulder she currently sat upon. “Just because Happa-chan is a spoilsport…”

“ _Excuse me_ , are you sure you aren’t mistaking who is the angel and who is the devil?!” Happa-chan snapped.

Danna-san smirked. “I’m sure she isn’t mistaken…”

“You’re so cute when you smile like that,” Momiji remarked at the grinning boy.

“Suck up,” Happa-chan muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … Kazuha and Heiji.
> 
> \---
> 
> Author’s Note: Felt like doing this particular trio even though I’ve never written Momiji—or Kazuha, for that matter. Anyhow, Happa-chan is Momiji’s nickname meaning “leaf girl”, while Danna-san means “husband.” I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> \---
> 
> Completed: 28.01.2021


End file.
